Son of Yellow Boots

11 September 2029 - 0300h

Logged off Battle.net after getting thrashed in StarCraft II again. Stupid Battlecruisers always were over-powered. Who cares: I hate retro gaming anyway.

Reminds me: my dad got this thing called an Xbox 360 out of the shed last weekend. He was utterly thrilled with it, but all I could see was a beige brick and all I could hear was the roar of the cooling fans.

Still, I never knew Microsoft used to do a console. How wild.

11 September 2029 - 1015h

Woke up at 0845h but had no new tweets so zoned off again. Checked my gold farm just now, and I’m up $500. Precision! Might log in and roll another alt for WOS. I know I said I hated StarCraft II but that’s a totally different game.

Might go for a Hydralisk Commando this time, utterly scoped stealth upgrades. Though to some extent Blizzard nerfed all Zerg Commando sub-classes with the Mengsk’s Legacy patch.

11 September 2029 - 1038h

Note to self and internet at large: Hydra Commando sucks. Zerg utterly boned now. No point. Googled petition to sign to make Blizzard put the game back the way it was before the last patch, but couldn’t decide which of the 45 petitions to support. All have three million plus sigs already anyway, so job is done? Blizzard will ignore them, for cert.

11 September 2029 - 1159h

That’s it, dropping out of queue for Steam2 login. This sucks utter balls. I bought all these games (okay, so I got a couple on magazine covers and one on a Weet-Bix box, but still) so I should be able to play them whenever I want.

Every time I try to start Steam2 now, I get the “experiencing unusual server congestion, please wait.” If it happens every bloody day, how can it be “unusual”? I was 11,345 in the queue, just then. Totally nuts. Only got to 3134 before I gave up.

Dad told me that the original Steam, you could play your games whenever you wanted, and the only delay was maybe the first time you “installed” them. I asked Dad what “installing” was and he told me some fairy story about having to copy files from a physical medium onto something called a hard drive. Hang on…

11 September 2029 - 1208h

Wiki wiki on the wall - heaps of info. Wow, computers used to be utterly weird. All this junk inside, stuff you could upgrade. All a conspiracy to keep manufacturers in business of course. Lots of moving parts so gear would break. Built in obsolescence, same as petrol cars, incandescent lightbulbs and Prime Ministers.

So apparently the hard drive was a magnetic storage device that had this read head that used to have to move faster than sound to write data on the surface of a metal disc. So weird!

Oh for anyone who cares, I’m IPed on a Rainmaker K - that’s the one with the two-terabit pipe to the Cloud. Apparently my Dad had fibre-to-the-home way before anyone else, because of that small lottery win he had back in 2018.

He says he used to pay $200 a month, and that was only a gigabit!

11 September 2029 - 1255h

Just did a 47 minute Nintendo workout. Abs utterly blasted. Wiki on Nintendo said they used to make regular games and that, but went into fitness and poker machines in a big way after the Greater Depression. Read something about some character called Mario - an Italian plumber who used to rescue princesses. Old games are so detached!

Also, Nintendo used to be a Japanese company, can you imagine that?

11 September 2029 - 1430h

My buddy Hidalgo49 linked me to some old movie called Star Wars - just streamed it. It was okay I guess. Pretty crap effects - the CGI looked really bad. I hear that back then it used to take them hours and hours to generate realistic-looking spaceships.

Which reminded me that I still have 80 hours of Pixar FilmGenie credits, so I hit up the URL and had it generate me six or seven 40 minute movies, but they were all boring. You can always tell when an AI writes the movie: the plot is just way too consistent and the dialogue is really solid.

It’s bad human writers that make trash movies fun, that’s what I always say.

11 September 2029 - 1615h

An hour and forty-five of random Cloud surfing. Wiki of the day was about “the Internet”. Cloud precursor, really primitive browsing system, mostly text-based. Dad told me something about how video started to be a really big thing and then the whole “net” as they called it more or less imploded.

They used to have to pay heaps for it too, and it was run by all these private companies. So detached!

11 September 2029 - 1622h

Dad just reminded me I haven’t been outside for six days. I told him that if he wanted me to play outside more, he shouldn’t have let his generation mess up the atmosphere so much. Scoped! Off to put on UV gear and recharge Tesla cannon to fight off the zombies. Heavy rain this Springter so lots about. I’ll tweet again if I ever get back! As my dad’s generation used to say: Lolz!